The following is a lesson you can use to determine how thankful you should be when you are provided with a benefit or gift. It was recorded by Xenophon in his book the Memorabilia, a book that is a collection of stories about Socrates. This is a great story for parents, sons and daughters alike. At the end of it ask yourself if you have been just or unjust.
Memorabilia II,II
At the beginning we're told that Socrates's son, Lamprocles, just had a fight with his mother and Socrates has taken his son aside to discuss the situation. They begin this discussion by defining ingratitude. The son says,
"it is a word used of those who do not show the gratitude that is in their power to show for benefits received."
They determine that a person guilty of ingratitude is an unjust individual. The son says that it is always unjust not to show gratitude for a favor from either a friend or enemy. Socrates says that ingratitude is injustice and the greater the benefit received the greater the injustice done if gratitude is not given.
Socrates then says
"now what deeper obligation can we find than that of children to their parents? Children owe their being to their parents".
He then says that the father and mother created the child so as to create a family where they could provide for their children all the benefits that are in their power to give them. The mother
"conceives and bears her burden in stress, risking her life and giving of her own food; and with much labour having endured to the end and brought forth her child, she rears and cares for it, although she has not received any good thing, she determines what is good for it and what it likes and provides for these things, and rears it for a long session, enduring toil day and night, not knowing what return she will get".
Socrates says these parents also educate the child for it's own good. When there is a more qualified person to educate their child they pay the fees to obtain this teacher and strive their utmost so that the child may turn out as well as possible. Lamprocles then says that even if his mother has did all these things it is still impossible to put up with her temper. Socrates asks
"how much trouble do you think you have given her by your peevish words and acts day and night since you were a little child; and how much pain when you were ill?"
He asks why should his son be annoyed by her comments when he knows that his mother holds no malice in what she says and that she wishes him to be blessed above all other beings. He says
"this mother of yours is kindly disposed toward you; she nurses you devotedly in sickness and sees that you want for nothing and she prays that you be blessed."
Socrates says that if his son cannot stand a mother like this then his son cannot tolerate anything good. He asks his son, does he not try to please his neighbor so that the neighbor will help him when he needs it and does he not create good will with the people he meets so that they may provide help in his time of need. He then says
"and yet, when you are resolved to cultivate these relationships, you don't think courtesy is due to your mother, who loves you more than all?
Socrates concludes the discussion by saying
" if men suppose you to be ungrateful to your parents, none would think you would be grateful for any kindness he might show you."
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